Un Cuento Cortito. An English translation comes after.

All my posts this season are “inspired by” a letter of the alphabet!

Añoraba el mar.

Añoraba la calma que le envolvía al escuchar las olas besando a las piedrecitas de la orilla.

Aquí, todo era calma, hasta el punto del aburrimiento a menudo, y otras veces hasta el agobio. Pero mirando desde arriba, recordaba lo que era sentir. Recordaba lo que era escuchar. Y no sólo eso, sino también el tocar la arena, ver los colores del mar, cambiando de un día para otro, oler las barbacoas de noche y saborear la sal del mar en la piel.

Añoraba estar al mando de su cuerpo. Aquí todo flotaba. Supuso que sería algo como estar en gravedad cero.

Poco a poco había notado que sus recuerdos iban desvaneciéndose. Por eso, de vez en cuando miraba desde su ventana, intentando sujetarlos antes de que desapareciesen para siempre. Sabía que era inútil, que en algún momento ya no podría sentir nada, ni recordar lo que era. Los demás que veía de vez en cuando por allí deambulaban. La miraban con lástima, explicándole que sólo acabaría torturándose. ¿Por qué no la dejaban en paz? En realidad, se suponía que ya estaba en paz. Pero agarrarse a lo que le había hecho feliz le hacía creer que no había perdido toda su humanidad. ¿Era mejor luchar o aceptar? Supuso que dependía. La serenidad para aceptar las cosas que no se podían cambiar, el valor para cambiar las cosas que sí estaban en sus manos, ya transparentes, y el saber diferenciar las dos cosas.

¿Por qué añorar algo que ya no existía? Quizás era algo masoquista. Pero la reconfortaba esa sensación agridulce, le hacía sentir… no ida. Se asomó por la ventana, intentando escapar de la calma asfixiante, pero al hacerlo, todo era negro, oscuridad, no veía la playa ya. Confusa, se retiró, y la visión volvió. Repitió la acción. Oscuridad, y luego luz. Parecía que sólo podía disfrutar de la vista desde dentro, no se podía acercar. Y entendió. No formaba parte de ese mundo ya, y la añoranza se quedaría con ella hasta que todo su cuerpo se volviera transparente, y ascendía, como luz, paz, o quizás nada.

Se quedó mirando por la ventana, absorta, aprovechando el tiempo que le quedaba.

Longing

She longed for the sea.

She longed for the calm that enveloped her when she heard the waves kissing the pebbles on the shore.

Here, everything was calm, often to the point of boredom, and at times to the point of oppression. But looking down from above, she remembered what it was like to feel. She remembered what it was like to hear. And not only that, but also to touch the sand, to see the colors of the sea, changing from one day to the next, to smell the barbecues at night and to taste the salt of the sea on her skin.

She missed being in control of her body. Here everything floated. She supposed it was something like being in zero gravity.

Little by little she had noticed that her memories were fading. That was why from time to time, she looked out of her window, trying to hold onto them before they disappeared forever. She knew it was useless, that at some point she would no longer be able to feel anything, nor remember what she was. She saw others from time to time, wandering. They looked at her with pity, explaining to her that she would only end up torturing herself. Why didn’t they leave her in peace? Actually, she was supposed to be at peace already. But holding on to what had made her happy helped her believe that she hadn’t lost all her humanity. Was it better to fight or accept? She supposed it depended. The serenity to accept things that couldn’t be changed, the courage to change things that were in her hands, already transparent, and knowing how to differentiate the two.

Why long for something that no longer existed? Maybe she was a bit masochistic. But that bittersweet feeling comforted her, it made her feel… not gone. She looked out of the window, trying to escape the suffocating calm, but when she did, everything was black, darkness, she couldn’t see the beach any more. Confused, she stepped back, and the vision returned. She repeated the action. Darkness, and then light. It seemed that she could only enjoy the view from inside, she couldn’t get closer. And she understood. She was no longer part of that world, and the longing would stay with her until her entire body became transparent, and she ascended, as light, peace, or maybe nothing.

She stared out the window, rapt, taking advantage of the time she had left.

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