All in Fun…

So, living in another country has its teething problems, wherever you are. It’s one thing to go abroad on holiday and make yourself understood. It’s a whole other ball game to actually spend some time living there. On purpose. So what follow are some rather random tips based on my first experiences of living in Spain, by no means comprehensive, but most of those that I mention are still relevant more than 25 years on, for good or for ill. And also, as I say in my podcast, all in the spirit of light-hearted fun.

So, here goes:

When entering a shop or public building where there is no discernible queue, ask for la última meaning the last person waiting, after whom your time will come, eventually.

Try to be patient with bureacracy. It can be frustrating, but your anger will not make it move any faster. Tears won’t either, I’ve tried that. But eventually you will get an answer. They say.

Don’t be afraid of the language. People will help you if you make the effort. The factor of surprise works well here. They don’t expect a foreigner to speak Spanish. But so elated will they be when you try that you won’t understand a word they say in response. A downside.

Ya te digo! (I say to you already, if we’re being literal) is used for agreement, like I’ll say! Useful in any circumstance where you don’t know what to say, but feel like voicing enthusiastic approval. Even if you have no idea what they’ve said.

When telling the time, las 10 y pico is not just after 10, as the y pico (and a bit) suggests. It’s any time between 10 and 11. Even 10:55. Yes. I know.

Bueno pues nada, or Well then nothing, literally translated, is used for finishing a conversation when there is nothing left to say. And then there is usually a handshake/two kisses/a raised hand and an hasta luego. It can get you out of jams. Useful.

Don’t be shocked by people staring, it’s just unabashed curiosity. There is no discrimination between foreigners and locals. They just stare. In England you may get a slap for that. Here, it’s accepted as normal.

If you don’t know, pretend you do. Nothing more to say on that one.

Have an opinion about everything and voice it louder than anyone else. Seriously. If you can say it louder and drown out the others, you win. Together with that, bear in mind that if you are out, there will be music or a TV in the background, and if you are at home… as well. Also, people speak really loudly here. Why? I have no idea. But it doesn’t (necessarily) mean they’re angry. Many a time have English relatives visited and thought I was having a domestic, when in actual fact my husband and I were just discussing what side plate to go with lunch.

Relaxing and making employment of free time is a national talent. Work to live, don’t live to work. Granted, this has changed over the years and work timetables can make this impossible. But the desire is still there. So jump on that bandwagon and relish your free time. Even if that free time consists of doing nothing at all. Also treasured.

Respect the sacred time of 2pm to 6pm, if you’re not working. Even if you don’t have a siesta. But don’t feel guilty if you do have one, and always put your phone on silent. Just in case. Most of your friends will respect this; telemarketers won’t.

Tío is both uncle and guy, similarly tía is aunt and girl. Other forms of salutation include hombre, used both when you haven’t seen someone for a long time and when adding a beginning to pretty much anything you want to say. Not to mention, mujer, chaval, macho…

Take eating slowly when you’re out. Whether it be tapas or a meal, accept that people will take food from your plate. And that’s fine. Enjoy the social side to eating together. And when talking about food it’s almost obligatory to add ito to every word… cafetito, cervecita, pizquito…

Don’t be alarmed to see horses or donkeys on main roads in rural areas. With humans riding, driving or leading, I should add. I frequently see a horse’s head above my gate gently bobbing along the road, with a rider attached.

Ingredients of a mid-afternoon-onwards authentic Spanish Bar: Old men; preferably two or more, possibly playing cards; Paper serviettes on the floor; One TV, loud. One music system, louder. A fruit machine or similar, normally occupied by a regular. In the absence of tapas, free peanuts, olives or crisps.

Beware: When drinking spirits, every short is a British double (at least). This may have changed in recent years as being an old’un I don’t frequent the bars as much. But when I first came… Oh the hangovers.

Don’t trust waiters who say something is meatless. Ham, for example, is not considered meat. That said, nowadays there is much more awareness of food choices. When I was first here, my brother, who is vegetarian, wanted a pasta first course. I asked if it had meat. The waiter said no. I asked if it had ham. The waiter said yes.

To conclude, these may seem like stereotypes, but I’ve seen them all first hand, and whether or not some no longer exist, they will remain forever in my memory and, no doubt, in that of the country. That does not mean any culture is incapable of evolving, on the contrary, these peculiarities may remain, cherished and valued, or equally may be thrown out with changing times, and all the better, in some cases. What I mean is that experiencing any new culture will always influence our lives, our way of thinking, and whether we embrace it or choose to reject it, it will open our eyes.

Which is pretty useful if you don’t want to spend your life falling over.

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Episode Twenty-Nine: Tips for Language Learning